"Why did I get stuck with this job..."
— Pillar John.
Pillar John is a big tall purple pillar with a mostly grumpy face slightly resembling a Moai. He has yellow ringed pupils in his black eyes, a very distinguished wrinkly forehead, a large nose, as well as an underbite often hiding his pearly white teeth. He is also slightly bandaged and cracked.
It's unknown what exactly Pillar John is or how he was created, but he is heavily tied with the entrance gate to each level. As said by Pizza Tower Guy in a Discord discussion, "The lore explanation is that the gates are like portals to pocket dimensions, and what keeps the portal connected is the pillar you destroy in each level". He seems mostly displeased with this role, as shown in his mostly grumpy expressions and his Toppinbot quote.
Pillar John stays in place at the end of most levels, doing nothing to directly harm the player or defend himself. When defeated, whether from being hit at Mach 2 or higher, thrown another enemy, or hit by most transformations, he will trigger Pizza Time, commencing the timer and opening the entrance gate.
- Pillar John's name may be a reference to Papa John's Pizza.
- In older demos, namely his first appearance in Demo 1, Pillar John used to block the Tower Secret Treasure, which used to trigger Pizza Time, allowing the player through only if they got all five Toppins, which they would feed him on a pedestal.
- As of the BeachandForest build, in any room that Pillar John is in, Meatophobia will start playing.
- Meatophobia used to only play in the bottom level of Bloodsauce Dungeon.
Old & Scrapped animations
|Pizza TowerEnemies in|
|No Vacation Cruise|
|21st Century Empire|